Extroverted.
Sensing.
Feeling.
Judging.

a.k.a. The "Caretaker"

Last week Matt came in and said "I want you to take this TEST (Jung Typeology Questionnaire) - I want to see if we are compatible."
I laughed out loud.
I told him we have been married for almost 15 years - it may be too late...
BUT - I clicked on the link and started answering yes or no - I also told him to leave the room because he may dispute some of MY answers (it's funny how sometimes our perception of ourselves are very different from others perceptions and we can work ourselves into a black hole trying to change them - to no avail.)

At the end of the test I was told that I was an ESFJ. Matt quickly got to work doing his "analysis digging" and began compiling all sorts of information on me and then compared it to himself - ENFJ (we're off by one letter - so it's almost like we married ourselves...hmmmm). As it turned out we were/are NOT each other's "soul mate" sob...sob..BUT we were compatible and get along with each other. I'm more than happy with that - since I think soul mates are dumb (did I just write that? must be my ESFJ coming out).

The one thing I took away from this, after discussing it at length with my brother-in-law Philly Manilly (who started this whole craze after taking the test in a class at the university) - was the insight it offered for parenting. Matt had commented that extroverted parents who had introverted children would find it difficult to let them "be" (introverted). I wholeheartedly agreed with this - however I think it's safe to say that we were definitely not sent any introverted children. My brother-in-law has 6 children - 3 are extroverted and 3 are introverted. That boggles my mind!

It has made me sit back and realize that my extroverted children rely on "gatherings" to re-charge - as do Matt and I. It's the way we are programmed. We like to be "on the go". I keep wanting to say "I can't help it - I was born this way", which sounds like such a lady gaga cop-out - but it's a thought that has been running through my head from my elementary school days.

Matt would be so impressed with my reflection - since I usually just roll my eyes and exhale deeply when he wants to discuss the relation between an ESFJ and an ENFJ. I'm absolutely positive though that my response is due to my ESFJ personality...and I can't help it!!

NOW family members, friends, and random blog stalkers...go take the test and post your results in the comment section. DO it NOW.

The following is taken from the typologic.com page and the personality page.com - Matt and I laughed when we read the first paragraph (this is for my children and parents and family and friends who -surprise surprise-probably know by now what I am):

Guardians of birthdays, holidays and celebrations, ESFJs are generous entertainers. They enjoy and joyfully observe traditions and are liberal in giving, especially where custom prescribes.

All else being equal, ESFJs enjoy being in charge. They see problems clearly and delegate easily, work hard and play with zest. ESFJs, as do most SJs, bear strong allegiance to rights of seniority. They willingly provide service (which embodies life's meaning) and expect the same from others.

ESFJs are easily wounded. And when wounded, their emotions will not be contained. They by nature "wear their hearts on their sleeves," often exuding warmth and bonhomie, but not infrequently boiling over with the vexation of their souls. Some ESFJs channel these vibrant emotions into moving dramatic performances on stage and screen.

Strong, contradictory forces consume the ESFJ. Their sense of right and wrong wrestles with an overwhelming rescuing, 'mothering' drive. This sometimes results in swift, immediate action taken upon a transgressor, followed by stern reprimand; ultimately, however, the prodigal is wrested from the gallows of their folly, just as the noose tightens and all hope is lost, by the very executioner!

An ESFJ at odds with self is a remarkable sight. When a decision must be made, especially one involving the risk of conflict (abhorrent to ESFJs), there ensues an in-house wrestling match between the aforementioned black-and-white Values and the Nemesis of Discord. The contender pits self against self, once firmly deciding with the Right, then switching to Prudence to forestall hostilities, countered by unswerving Values, ad exhaustium, winner take all.

As caretakers, ESFJs sense danger all around--germs within, the elements without, unscrupulous malefactors, insidious character flaws. The world is a dangerous place, not to be trusted. Not that the ESFJ is paranoid; 'hyper-vigilant' would be more precise. And thus they serve excellently as protectors, outstanding in fields such as medical care and elementary education.

The Caregiver

As an ESFJ, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit in with your personal value system. Your secondary mode is internal, where you take things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion.

ESFJs are people persons - they love people. They are warmly interested in others. They use their Sensing and Judging characteristics to gather specific, detailed information about others, and turn this information into supportive judgments. They want to like people, and have a special skill at bringing out the best in others. They are extremely good at reading others, and understanding their point of view. The ESFJ's strong desire to be liked and for everything to be pleasant makes them highly supportive of others. People like to be around ESFJs, because the ESFJ has a special gift of invariably making people feel good about themselves.

The ESFJ takes their responsibilities very seriously, and is very dependable. They value security and stability, and have a strong focus on the details of life. They see before others do what needs to be done, and do whatever it takes to make sure that it gets done. They enjoy these types of tasks, and are extremely good at them.

ESFJs are warm and energetic. They need approval from others to feel good about themselves. They are hurt by indifference and don't understand unkindness. They are very giving people, who get a lot of their personal satisfaction from the happiness of others. They want to be appreciated for who they are, and what they give. They're very sensitive to others, and freely give practical care. ESFJs are such caring individuals, that they sometimes have a hard time seeing or accepting a difficult truth about someone they care about.

With Extraverted Feeling dominating their personality, ESFJs are focused on reading other people. They have a strong need to be liked, and to be in control. They are extremely good at reading others, and often change their own manner to be more pleasing to whoever they're with at the moment.

The ESFJ's value system is defined externally. They usually have very well-formed ideas about the way things should be, and are not shy about expressing these opinions. However, they weigh their values and morals against the world around them, rather than against an internal value system. They may have a strong moral code, but it is defined by the community that they live in, rather than by any strongly felt internal values.

ESFJs who have had the benefit of being raised and surrounded by a strong value system that is ethical and centered around genuine goodness will most likely be the kindest, most generous souls who will gladly give you the shirt off of their back without a second thought. For these individuals, the selfless quality of their personality type is genuine and pure. ESFJs who have not had the advantage of developing their own values by weighing them against a good external value system may develop very questionable values. In such cases, the ESFJ most often genuinely believes in the integrity of their skewed value system. They have no internal understanding of values to set them straight. In weighing their values against our society, they find plenty of support for whatever moral transgression they wish to justify. This type of ESFJ is a dangerous person indeed. Extraverted Feeling drives them to control and manipulate, and their lack of Intuition prevents them from seeing the big picture. They're usually quite popular and good with people, and good at manipulating them. Unlike their ENFJ cousin, they don't have Intuition to help them understand the real consequences of their actions. They are driven to manipulate other to achieve their own ends, yet they believe that they are following a solid moral code of conduct.

All ESFJs have a natural tendency to want to control their environment. Their dominant function demands structure and organization, and seeks closure. ESFJs are most comfortable with structured environments. They're not likely to enjoy having to do things which involve abstract, theoretical concepts, or impersonal analysis. They do enjoy creating order and structure, and are very good at tasks which require these kinds of skills. ESFJs should be careful about controling people in their lives who do not wish to be controlled.

ESFJs respect and believe in the laws and rules of authority, and believe that others should do so as well. They're traditional, and prefer to do things in the established way, rather than venturing into unchartered territory. Their need for security drives their ready acceptance and adherence to the policies of the established system. This tendency may cause them to sometimes blindly accept rules without questioning or understanding them.

An ESFJ who has developed in a less than ideal way may be prone to being quite insecure, and focus all of their attention on pleasing others. He or she might also be very controling, or overly sensitive, imagining bad intentions when there weren't any.

ESFJs incorporate many of the traits that are associated with women in our society. However, male ESFJs will usually not appear feminine at all. On the contrary, ESFJs are typically quite conscious about gender roles and will be most comfortable playing a role that suits their gender in our society. Male ESFJs will be quite masculine (albeit sensitive when you get to know them), and female ESFJs will be very feminine.

ESFJs at their best are warm, sympathetic, helpful, cooperative, tactful, down-to-earth, practical, thorough, consistent, organized, enthusiastic, and energetic. They enjoy tradition and security, and will seek stable lives that are rich in contact with friends and family.

The month of June around here has become to be known as "Christmas in June".
Two back to back birthdays with a week reprieve then two more back to back birthdays.
There is no lack of gifts and excitement (or occasional stress/foul mood by the dumb mother who thought it was a good idea or even FUNNY? to happen to have the birthdays fall that way - as if I could plan it??!!).
So - back to the birthday blowouts.
Laina started her day off bright and early at 6am (like I said "Christmas morning"). Her dear mother, in hopes of coping better with the next two days, was headed on a little bike ride and asked her if she would like to join - which of course she did. So a beautiful early morning bike ride was just the ticket to get the day started off in the right direction.

We came home and made pancakes and hash browns and sausage - then the opened some presents and then headed off to VBS (vacation bible school - dad cue Ray Stevens). As soon as they were out of the house I, with the help of Indy and a friend, dismantled her bed and replaced it with another bed - one that would separate her from her crazy 2 year old sister. I had the boys wrap the door up and then sent Laina on a hunt, when she returned from VBS, to find her present.

Later we hit up the local nail joint and found 2 other cute girls there getting their nails done - then headed for a combined party with Indy's baseball team at Peter Piper Pizza (nothing like killing two birds with one stone!).

The next day was Smackdoodle's GOLDEN birthday. He turned 6 on 6-6 (and yes as a reminder he was born on 6-6-6).
I have to interject a small story - he had been coming off a rough weekend - well, a rough Sunday to be exact. Testimony meeting - to be more exact. I know you're thinking "when will the Holdsworths learn?" BUT the father of said bunch thought it a good idea to encourage the children of said bunch to use the opportunity of Testimony meeting at church to bear their testimonies (tradition in our ward dictates that it should be done during the month of the birthday) so the oldest three clambered up to the stand before their mother could grab them and pin them down. Laina goes first and does a beautiful job, then Mac in his sharp new church outfit gets up and proceeds to declare the he knows that ELIZABETH is the prophet and then pauses as a look of shock registers - closes his testimony and hurries back to the bench, but breaks down in a fit of tears as he crumbles into his mothers lap. His breakdown is so massive that he has to be escorted outside where he proceeds to get very very angry and has to be left by a tree to calm down. He eventually makes it back inside only to be greeted by eager church members who want to personally thank him for making their day memorable. This started the week off rough - really rough (even though I still can't stoup laughing - apparently Laina in her haste to help him whispered Joseph Smith, but the translation was interpreted as Elizabeth...)

So back to Mac and his Golden day. We had to have a little break with the 5-10-15 year birthday party only, and gather forces for an epic kickball game. We swam at the pool and then had burgers and fries and then headed over to the school for boys vs. girls.

The boys team were quickly dubbed the "way-wahs" because they cried and complained about every play. Luckily there was a Byrnsie-look-alike that managed to corral them and put them in their places. And oh how they loved the dirt!