Ella had thrown up from 2-6am Saturday morning. Then we were at my brothers wedding (photographing and enjoying) until 9pm. I crawled into bed at midnight back in Prescott, having pulled off a 22 hour day without one breakdown (Matt did inform me that he and my sister thought I was a little "short" with them) so I guess it wasn't "quite" as perfect as I thought but overall it was pretty smooth. I informed Matt that I was the one who would stay home with Ella while he took the kids to church. He took this as an opportunity to highlight to my children their mother's lack of commitment to church. Just as they were rushing out the door...he casually remarked, "kids-next thing you know your mother will have quit the church and taken up drinking..." I tried to catch him before he opened his mouth knowing that what would come out of it wouldn't be good but it was too late...as they loaded in the car...McLaren asked me why I quit church.
As I started picking up the remnants of another weekend away I start to get texts. The first one said, "Dude - Indy just threw you under the bus from the pulpit....hilarious!". It was Fast Sunday (the first Sunday of the month is used for congregation members to stand at the pulpit-microphone-and bear/share their testimony and any experiences they've had over the month that may have strengthened their testimony. My dear spouse in his efforts to highlight AGAIN his wife's inactivity, encouraged his children to bear their testimony - so that he could make her feel guilty about missing church (I figured that one out when I heard what had happened). Apparently after Indy bore his testimony about the Savior, he ended with, "my dad says my mom has quit the church and going to take up drinking" which caused the congregation to erupt in laughter and drowned out his last remark "but it's not true - she teaches me good stuff". And he sat down. So that would be the point where the cell phones get pulled out and the texts (up to 15 or so now) started coming in...
Matt showed up 20 minutes later at home to do damage control. He tried to comfort his humiliated wife with the fact that nobody could stop laughing for 5 more minutes (all the while he's still laughing...with tears streaming down his face.) Not funny. Not. One. Bit. Funny.
And poor Indy walked in after church door apologizing so profusely that he had tears...all he could say was "no one heard me say 'it's not true!"...so sad - just trying to defend his defenseless mother...
I learned my lesson. Never ever ever ditch church. Ever.
8 comments:
That's awesome!! Did you remind Matt that payback is ....well, he'll have to wait and see!!! :)
Oh gosh that made me laugh hard to the point of tears. Gotta love Matt!
Open Mic day at church rules!
Perfect.
I had to read that out loud to Erik. Erik said, "Give Matt a High 5 for me." He thought that was SO funny because I know he would do the same thing. I was laughing pretty hard too.
Oh but Megan, it WAS funny. Flat-out funniest thing E-VER in church. Melissa and I were still laughing about it the next day. I didn't hear him say the part about it not being true ... that makes it even better. He is the coolest kid around.
This is the best thing I've ever read on the internet. Had me in full on tears. Sorry it was at your expense but seriously hilarious!
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