New Years Confession.

Some may look at January 31st as the "light at the end of their tunnel".  A tunnel filled with 31 days of getting back into the swing of things after being run-over by the craziness of the holidays.  I started the month of with a great, happy attitude but have found myself slowly being sucked into the hum-drum of January.  All month long I've known that I needed to write my thoughts down for the new year - and all month long I've put it off.  Intentionally.  
I had an epiphany about mid-way through the month.  New Years Resolutions should be dubbed New Years Confessions.  As in, "hey I've really stunk it up in this category (i.e. exercise, eating, reading, mothering, cleaning etc...etc..etc..) and so I'm going to CONFESS and then try to do better - hence New Years Confessionals.  Well here is mine for the year:
REACTING.  
There I've confessed.  In public I do really well on not totally freaking out on my kids (or my spouse) but man get me in my car or my house and I have no filter or pause button and I flip at small and insignificant things (I know I know...medication may help, but I'm trying the New Years Confessional route - less expensive.)  The worse part was when I saw it in my kids freaking out and reacting and I'm telling them to relax - I realized that it stems from me.  "So I say to myself 'remember this...kindness non-reaction begins with me." 
The first step in a confession I believe is "confessing".  So I sat my kids down and confessed.  Then I told them how I was going to try to circumvent situations where I find myself exploding (basically in the morning before school and after dinner before bed...luckily they didn't pick up on the pattern of those times and obvious parties involved.)  I told them they get to be involved in my New Years Confession this year and help me not to see red so often - we'll see how it works (so far I've failed the entire month of January - one month down...eleven more to go phew!)
**Normally I can find a positive way to spin a negative but this one called for hitting it straight on...no sugar coating or making it cute..of course rather than "seeing red", I could've termed it "Trying to see yellow? sunshine?" or "Stop, Drop, and roll - then get up and have a better grip on your emotions?" hmmm..stop the crazy reacting just seems to flow better**